Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Blood Loss

Dear Mom and Dad,

I bet you never thought teaching me to be polite just might be the death of me.


If looks could kill you'd have a felon for a daughter

I know most of you celebrated the feast day of Sts. Cyril and Methodius but for all my secular readers out there, it was Valentine's Day. In celebration of this I decided to get my haircut. Imagine my shock when the hairdresser asked if I had a boyfriend (no shock at all, since hairdressers somehow think that since they hold the power to make you wear a hat for the next 6 weeks they can ask you as many personal questions as they want).

Anyway, when I politely responded that no I didn't. She apologized. For what? For delving into my personal life uninvited? No. She was sorry I didn't have someone to keep me from eating a lb. of chocolate and watching when Harry Met Sally all alone tonight.

What the H does this have to do with me bleeding to death? Well as the conversation continued, I had to bite my tongue so many times it started bleeding!* Some people I swear.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Do band-aids for your tongue exist? Because if so, would you mind swinging by Wal-mart and picking some up? I'm feeling a little faint from loss of blood.


Your daughter who isn't nearly as polite as you hoped I would be

I can neither confirm or deny if this is an exaggeration but my tongue is sore several hours later

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