To Whom It May Concern: (the incredibly old/rude woman sitting next to me in mass)
If you lean over to your husband and complain about the "noisy" baby that is really just babbling to his mother one more time, I am going to personally pray that you go to a special Purgatory where you have to hold a screaming, inconsolable child for several millenia while people judge and ridicule you.
I realize that because of the judgements that were going on in my head during mass, I will probably be sentenced to equal about of time in purgatory listening to your incessant oxygen machine beep every 23 seconds, but I really don't care. It's worth it.
Your not so friendly pew partner
P.S. I'm curious as to how you had time to complain about the baby when you should have been concentrating on training your mind to say "and with your Spirit," as you have yet to get a single one right.